somewhat comprehensive.

well. the time is almost upon me. i have survived. not only have i survived, but in many ways i have conquered. lots of learning. lots of growing. lots of crying. (dying to self hurts!). but God is good and ALWAYS faithful. it has been a trip longer than i originally anticipated, but so good. that being said, i am ready to go home! my last 2 weeks here will be good (i say in faith), but i am ready to be home again. i couldnt really think of what to blog about, so i am providing you with a somewhat comprehensive list of things that i am looking forward to, as well as things that i am going to miss. enjoy!


things i am looking forward to:

• holding violett.
• hugging my family.
• eating a dang good cheeseburger.
• going to dallas to hang out with craig.
• playing skyrim.
• playing league of legends with chase, ansen, pete, brian, tim, and spangs.
• driving my car, singing to my music at the top of my lungs.
• sleeping in my large and comfy bed with sheets that actually FIT the mattress.
• seeing all my kids out at St. Luke's (we'll be meeting at Sonic again, surprise surprise).
• getting some new clothes that fit my slightly skinnier new frame.
• hanging out with my friends at 12 Spot/Generation North.
• enjoying some winter weather.
• watching a youtube video or two, just because i can.
• getting my first tattoo, inked by my very own sister.
• enjoying homemade popcorn with my mom.
• going running and not being worried about being killed by traffic or falling into the sewer.
• enjoying buying something (just the simplicity of seeing a price tag and knowing how much i am going to pay).
• continuing to get in shape/having a really nice gym to use.
• having a shower space that i actually fit in.
• having a shower longer than 2 minutes.
• walking down the street and being IGNORED by the general populace.

things i will miss most:

• my very dear friends.
• ultimate frisbee.
• living in community.
• living 45 seconds away from work.
• having work.
• the beaches (seriously. they are beautiful).
• playing "horses" with our betting group.
• playing call of duty with friends on saturday nights.
• street meat.
• a sufficient supply of gummy bears.
• a fairly regular/consistent schedule.

ciao for now.

relaxing beneath true beauty.

what a weekend! i was finally able to get off the ship!

after a marvelous chat with sarah phillips last week, i was invited to come to banana island for a weekend getaway with a few other people. i jumped at the opportunity, since i have not been able to successfully get off the ship in just about two months. 

woke up bright and early saturday morning, had breakfast, made a sandwhich and joined the group on the dock. took a bit (2 hours?) to get to the beach by Kent. our water "taxi" (a LARGE canoe with a small engine) was running a bit late (african time) so a couple of us decided to jump into the water. had fun swimming for a bit, then climbed out and into the boat. after about 25ish minutes on the water we reached banana island.

the island was gorgeous. quiet. comparatively secluded. and our lodgings were wonderful. not wonderful like the Embassy Suites. more wonderful like rustic and relaxing. beach. jungle. oh man. anyway, after unpacking and having lunch we all went to the beach. some tanning (or sunburning for the more scandinavian of us), some swimming, some exploring. just super relaxing. for a while jeff was having a good time tossing these little seed/nut/things at everyone, and then the rest of us had a really entertaining time watching jeff try to throw left-handed. seriously. if you are on the ship and you ever get the chance, ask Jeff Locke to show you how he throws left-handed. hilarious.

anyway. after some time on the beach i decided to head back up to the main area and go up to the roof. i was fairly intrigued since there was a sign on the stairs that said "bear feet only". yes. bear. like grizzly. anyway, i conquered my fear of heights and walked out on the roof. then sat. then layed down. then took a nap. haha. it was so relaxing. the roof had no guard rails and looked pretty sketchy, but napping up there was SUPER relaxing. some of the others came up and we had a good time chatting. kayleigh had a good time drinking from a coconut, and we had a good time watching her spill all over herself while she tried to drink from said coconut. haha.

after a while we all migrated again, most of us back down to the beach. the sun was starting to head down, and so the evening was cooling off a bit. jeff built a fire in a fire pit on the beach, and he and i each roasted a hotdog while we waited for dinner. jeff's burned then fell in the sand, but he ate it anyway, describing it as "crunchy". mine was pretty good though, but not near as good as dinner ended up being.

the sun set completely and we turned on some worship music, laid next to the fire, and watched the stars. at one point i felt my eyes well up with tears a little bit. i have missed the stars so much. it has been one of those little things that i've missed and didnt think too much about it. then when i got to see them again, i realized how much i really missed them. you could see thousands of them. not a cloud in the sky, no light anywhere except occasional lighning across the sea and the small light inside our fire pit. at one point i even saw a shooting star. the beauty was overwhelming.

for dinner we had fish. fish freshly caught by other guests. mackerel, barracuda, something the owner called "chicken fish", and some other kind. all that grilled fish, plus pasta with some really good tomato sauce and some rice. so delicious. and some of the best fish i have had in a long long time.

after dinner was bed time. the sunburn drained me a bit, but i was also just SO relaxed that i wanted to read and sleep. somehow i ended up with a room to myself. something about being bigger than everyone else. not sure what they were talking about...lol. anyway. i slept amazing. for the first time in months a had a double bed all to myself! when i woke up, i woke up to the sounds off the waves crashing on the beach. although, i did wake up RIGHT after i fell asleep to the sound of rachel bethke praying over the bed so that there wouldnt be spiders in it...

woke up. had breakfast of toasted bread (but a small personal loaf, not like a slice of bread), 1 or 2 fried eggs (not really sure how many), and french fries. so delicious. hung out some more. read some more. walked the beach some more. enjoyed the waves some more. you know how is. lol. then it was time to go. so we packed up and came back.

total cost: 88,000 Leones.

converstion rate: ~ 4:1

translation: ~ $22.00

God knew exactly what i needed. He knew that i needed to get away from things and spend some time being able to enjoy His creation and His beauty. He knew that i needed to relax and get away from some of the stresses of "normal" life. God is so good. He continues to teach me things every day. i would say different things, but i have a hunch He is teaching me the same things over and over, making sure i am learning them. lol. it was good just to get away and feel His love. to see it. i miss the sound of the water already.

God please continue to show me Your love. take me on wild adventures and help me to trust and follow You. thank You for everything You have done and continue to do for me. You are amazing.

i hope you all have a most marvelous day.

ciao for now.

delayed updates and inspiring prayers.

wow! i am so sorry that i have neglected this blog for so long! i dont really know who i am apologizing to, since i am not sure who actually reads this, but here it is anyway.


so what has been going on in the past month. to be honest, not a whole lot! life here on the ship has been pretty average. work has been pretty good. deb has been away for the past month and a half, but returns in 2ish weeks, so liz and i have been on our own for a while. things have gone pretty smoothly for only having two photographers.


i am going to be going out to a beach this weekend, and hopefully will be able to get some nice pictures. i am just about to the halfway point with raising the money for my crew fees. unfortunately, this means that i have not been able to replace my broken camera or replace my rapidly dying laptop. anyway. keep that in your prayers.


i have been a bit homesick the past couple weeks. some days are harder than others, but i miss my family pretty constantly, even if it isnt something that i am consciously thinking about. while i have enjoyed my time here, and am not in any rush to get home, i am really looking forward to seeing my family again.


i watched a movie recently. a good movie, and one i have seen many times. the movie ends with a prayer, and it really struck me today, so i thought i would conclude with this (altered only minorly):


dear Lord,
thank You for giving me the strength and the conviction to complete the task You entrusted to me. thank You for guiding me straight and true through the many obstacles in my path, and for keeping me resolute when all around seems lost. thank You for Your protection and Your many signs along the way. thank You for any good that i may have done. i'm so sorry about the bad. thank You for the friends i've made. please watch over them as You watch over me. thank You for giving me rest. i'm so very tired, but in You i may rest at peace. please help me to fight the good fight, to finish the race, and to keep the faith.


have a marvelous day.


ciao for now.

good company and imported mcdonalds.

what a day. tonight was one of the best nights ever.

unfortunately, i couldnt go take pre-op pictures until tonight, and then it was so crazy in the wards, that it took about an hour to complete. however, after i was done, i got to go work in the cafe. i enjoy volunteering in the cafe. it gives me a chance to talk to new people and just have some fun. also, i really like playing my music over the ship speakers. lol. got more than a few compliments tonight about the music, though. so that was fun.

after the cafe, i got to spend some time running around the ship with Peter Koontz (sorry if i can't spell your name right), Jay Swanson, Jeff Locke, and JD Rimann. we were on the hunt. the hunt....for the mcdonalds that jay brought us from paris. about two solid hours of running around the ship trying to find the missing bag. turns out another crew member had taken the bag as a joke, but it ended fine. spent the next hour just sitting and chatting with the four guys. such great men. so much fun. and the mcdonalds, despite all you NAYsayers out there (*cough* mona *cough*), it was QUITE delicious.

after that, about 10 minutes with mona, and then finishing the pre-ops. now blogging before i forget, and off to bed before i pass out. lol. have a good night! hope you enjoyed the update!

ciao for now.

the unavailability of escape mechanisms.

i'm not really sure what to write about. but it's been 2 weeks. so i need to update.


it's been a rough couple of days. please keep me in your prayers. also, be careful what you ask God for. He might actually give it to you.


i think i am going to try to go to the beach this weekend. i wish that i could just get out and go. right now. just leave. in the states now is the time that i would get in my car and start driving. might end up at home. might end up at my parents'. might end up in dallas or siloam springs or tulsa. unfortunately no one has that luxury here. you are stuck. you live where you work. you work where you go to church. you go to church where you eat your meals. you eat your meals where you have your free time. and you have your free time where you sleep. there is no escape. no getting away from things. no running from problems or frustrations or anything else. in some ways that really sucks, but in others it is actually a good thing. being out here begins to strip you of escape mechanisms. it forces you to think about things. it forces you to deal with things. forces you to lean on God, as hard as that can be sometimes.


sadly, a great host of my friends are leaving in the next 10 days, as well as my dad, who leaves on the 13th. that makes me quite sad. i have gotten to spend lots of time with these people, and they are great friends! people i will miss very much! and then dad....i will miss my dad very much. the man who keeps me sane, offers me sage advice, tells me when i am being stupid, teaches me, and loves me. that day will be a hard day, i think.


i've started to volunteer in the cafe here on the ship. that is pretty fun. my favorite part of it is playing great music in the cafe area and getting to chat with all the people passing by (david's favorite things revolve around people or music? no way. i never would have guessed.). lol. anyway.


not much interesting has been going on lately. at least, not from a reader's/onlooker's/person who wasnt me's perspective. especially since the most interesting things are taking place inside me, not outside me. i AM however volunteering with the youth group (that starts tonight), and then volunteering with the worship team here on the ship as well (first meeting tomorrow night).


anyway. not really sure what else to write. this is probably one of my more boring blogs, so naturally something SUPER amazing is going to happen tomorrow. right after this blog is posted. lol.


ciao for now.

"would you like a sandwich?"

had a fabulous night last night. mona and i went on a double date with beau and liz, and we went to go have dinner out at the Country Lodge. hmmm.....i feel like i skipped some important detail....

oh yeah. i remember what it was.

i am dating a beautiful, smart, hilarious, caring, and just generally FABULOUS girl named mona renae langstraat. best weekend ever? survey says yes.

so anyway. mona and i went on a double date with beau and liz, and we had dinner out at Country Lodge. the drive to the Lodge was marvelous. no traffic. none. at all. it was GREAT. record time. without speeding (not that there are actually enforced speed LIMITS here in freetown....). we get to the restaurant and sit down. waiter brings us menus. we take a look and decide that splitting some pizzas or ordering chinese are the two cheapest ways to go, so we decide on a couple pizzas. waiter comes back to take our order and.....no pizza. and wait! no chinese. hmmm. pasta it is! liz orders seafood pasta (with various assorted "seafoods"), and mona and i each order some chicken pasta. beau spies some lasagna that looks pretty good, and orders that. 5 minutes later, no lasagna. hmmm. beau takes another look and decides to order some other pasta-ish dish (dont really remember what it was). 5 minutes later, no "other pasta-ish dish". poor beau! but wait! "would you like a sandwich?" *insert beau laughing/crying like a maniac here*. finally beau just ordered the seafood pasta like his wife, and food was all ordered and done. we had a good time just sitting, laughing, telling stories, and just generally enjoying each others' company. the food was quite delicious, and VERY rich. then the REAL motivation for going out: dessert. we ordered two chocolate-lava cake things with vanilla ice cream. what did we get? two chocolate-lave cake things with vanilla ice cream.....AND THEN two little bowls with two scoops of vanilla ice cream in each. oh this poor waiter. he really did not understand. for such a large quantity of food mix-ups, the food we ended up eating was all very good, and the night was so much fun. of course, i am also very partial to the company....

another enjoyable ride home with NO traffic (beau apparently used ALL his luck for the traffic, instead of saving some for the food that he wanted). we get back, and mona and i enjoyed some nice time together on deck 8, then watched about 3/4 of The Dark Knight. an amazing night.

God has been so good to me. i have been so blessed in so many different ways, but mona ranks close to the top on the list of blessings. thank you, Father, simply for bringing her into my life.

i hope you have a marvelous day.

ciao for now.

the lifting of a heavy heart.

this is a blog that i have been trying to write unsuccessfully for days. the words wont form themselves into sentences that have any meaning.

"defeat is a choice." - mona. thank you for the smallest bits of encouragement that have the biggest impact. you are such a blessing.

the past two weeks have been amazing good, and amazingly challenging at the same time. a lot of people dont like talking about spiritual warfare, but just because it isnt talked about, doesnt mean it isnt there. it's like this enormous pink and purple polka-dotted elephant standing where your dining room table used to be, and people are trying pretend it doesnt exist. the enemy is out to steal, kill, and destroy. he comes when we least expect it, and attacks us where we are weakest. exploiting our insecurities. feeding us lies. lies about others. lies about ourselves. lies about God. he is the father of lies, and there is no truth in him. conversely, all truth is God's truth. if it is TRUTH, it is GOD's truth, no matter where it is found. thank you for teaching me this, dr. lambert. the enemy comes and attacks our weak points, hoping to make us stumble and fall. to lose faith. to lose hope. but we have one encouragement.

in our weakness, God is strong. and he might not turn our weaknesses into strengths, just so that we need to continually lean on Him. hard to accept, right? no one likes being weak. being vulnerable. it makes us feel like we aren't in control. but i have great news. we aren't in control. which is good. cause life would REALLY suck if we were. God knows what we need before we know. he knows our hopes, our dreams, our fears, our weaknesses.

"o Lord, you have searched me and You know me. You know when i sit, and when i rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out, and my lying down; You are familiar with all my ways. before a word is on my tongue You know it completely, o Lord." - psalm 139:1-4

psalms speaks at length about how amazing God is, and how insignificant we are compared to Him. there is no where we can hide from his presence. He knows everything about us. how scary is that? i dont know everything about me, and to be honest, sometimes i'm not sure i want to. but He knows, and what's more, He loves us anyway.

"and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." - romans 8:28

"what then shall we say in response to this? if God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all - how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things? [...] who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? [...] no, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. for i am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:31-32, 35, 37-39

that's right. God loves us. each and every one of us. if you are reading this blog, He loves you, and will never stop.

the hard times are going to come. another one of those things people dont like to talk about. scripture PROMISES us that life will not be all sunshine and rainbows. we are PROMISED that it is going to be hard. that there will be trials. and that the enemy is out to get us. but we are "more than conquerors" and we are only defeated when we choose to let ourselves be defeated. the war has been won. ready for one of the most frustrating verses in scripture, followed by one of the greatest promises?

"consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. and perseverance must finish its work, so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. but when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because anyone who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. that man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double minded man, unstable in all he does." - james 1:2-8

consider it pure joy. thanks. thanks for that. cause i love trials. (that was my sarcastic voice). no, trials are not fun. and enjoyable. but i have learned a couple things about them. without trials, we never grow. we stay the same. in a sense, we die. trials push us to grow and learn. most importantly, trials push us to rely on God. to cry out to Him in our pain, and to let Him take control again. trials are how he shapes us into who he wants us to be. trials are how God gives us wisdom. we gain wisdom through experience, but how often do our happy experiences provide us with overwhelming wisdom. no, unfortunately it is our mistakes, our trials, our weakness, our struggles. those are the things that God uses to give us wisdom.

are you willing to let God give you some trials so that He can make you grow and give you wisdom? am i willing? not if i forget the truth and promises of those scripture verses. it is hard to remember, sometimes, that God ONLY wants what is best for us.

I hear the Savior say

"Thy strength, indeed, is small.

Child of weakness, watch and pray.

Find in me thine all in all."

- "Jesus Paid it All", by Hillsong

"sometimes all we can do is bow our heads and pray." a small piece of wisdom i found in a greeting card stuck to the back of the door of my office.

thank you Father. help me to let You be in control. help me to let You guide me. help me to listen to Your voice. help me to be wholly Yours.

ciao for now.